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The Seagulls

Author: Josep Pere Peyró
Translated by: Paul Rankin
Language: English
ISBN: 978-84-95683-55-7
Price: 2,00 €
File size: (LesGavinesEN.pdf) 456 Kb.
Available in: Spanish

(3 female characters and 2 male characters.)
Illustrated with full-colour images.
Luis is the ‘Ed Wood’ of pornographic films. Never mind the big screen, his greatest achievements don’t even make it straight to video, quite an achievement in the world of porn. His real claim to fame, however, is discovering Edward Eight-Inches, the industry’s biggest star. Now, his last chance for artistic posterity is his new masterpiece, Red-Hot Nymphos, where a psychiatrist treating Hamlet and Antigone suggests a series of joint sessions to work through the blockages in their respective treatments, when in walks the ‘replacement’, an illegal immigrant fascinated by Nina, from Chekhov’s The Seagull, unaware she is walking onto the set of an ‘adult’ film made by an utter failure of a director . . .
Together, they shine light into dark places and questions that trouble us all.

The Seagulls

LUIS  I’m not saying there’s no conspiracy. There is, there is. I’m only saying that he doesn’t want to be the leader of the conspirators, because he’s denying his sexuality. What is the relationship between Hamlet and Horatio? It’s obvious Horatio loves him . . . All Hamlet’s friends are either soldiers or actors. Horatio, Francesco, Barnardo, Marcellus . . . Do you not think it’s suspicious?

MÒNIKA  (Talking over him) Do you not think it’s a bit dark? . . .

LUIS  It is . . . It’s suspicious because they represent the gay community in Denmark. They’re putting pressure on Hamlet to acknowledge his homosexuality and lead their cause. They all say to him: ‘You are one of us. Come with us, be our princess, our queen . . .’

MÒNIKA  It would have been nicer with white sheets . . .

LUIS  . . . ‘Leave Ophelia, abandon the hetero world that is making you so unhappy. Leave Ophelia and come with us and we’ll take away the pain you are carrying and that weighs on you like a gravestone. Be ours and we’ll put colours on the blackness that consumes you. Come into the world of cinemascope and technicolour.’

MÒNIKA  White or a more natural colour, something beige . . . There’s not much contrast with the black . . .

LUIS  That’s why Laertes goes to Paris . . . He goes to Paris . . . Why doesn’t he help Ophelia to win Hamlet over? They’re supposed to love each other . . . But Laertes goes off to Paris and leaves his sister doomed to suicide . . . Why? It’s very clear, because he’s gay. Laertes is gay. A gay man conspiring with the Danish gay lobby . . . That’s why he goes off to Paris . . . And that’s why when Hamlet is most fucked, when he doubts most, when his obsession gnaws at him to the point of consuming him, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are sent to him . . . What can you expect from two blokes called Rosencrantz and Guildenstern . . . Laertes, Horatio, Francisco, Barnardo, Marcellus, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern . . . All gay. All in cahoots to turn Hamlet into their queen . . . And Hamlet doubts . . . All his obsessions are a smokescreen . . . He doesn’t care about his father’s ghost, he doesn’t care about his mother’s nymphomania or his uncle’s greed. Hamlet rejects his homosexuality . . . Hamlet doesn’t want to be gay . . . Here I have gone right to the heart of Shakespeare’s conflict, the heart of Hamlet’s conflict . . . Hamlet doubts . . . Hamlet wonders, ‘Am I a gay queen or am I the son of a bitch who killed her husband and runs like a dog in heat to her brother’s bed?’ And Hamlet chooses to be the son of a bitch and the nephew of king-killer . . .

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